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Raising Up Boys and Girls, Part 4

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PART 4: AGES 5-10

Read previous posts in this series:

I've been sharing with you through this series of blog posts what we've been discussing in  the  spring semester of The Mom's Bible Study: Raising up  boys and girls. It is a journey that stirs everything in our souls. We know parenting is full of unpredictability. We are uncertain of what is happening now and what is going to happen in the future.

The uncertainty can cause fear.

Many of our fears as parents are based upon memories. We work overtime thinking about our past fears and being anxious about the future. Yes, we need a healthy fear and awareness of what is going on, but we often allow our fear to overwhelm us.

So what do we do with the fear?

  • Have confidence in God and His love for you and your child.
  • Talk about your fears with your spouse, family, or friends.
  • Step outside parenting and be a person not just a parent. 
  • Use calm words and a calm presence when dealing with kids.
  • Stay alert (looking) in confidence for what God is doing.
  • God’s perfect love casts out fear. We have to be willing to forgive and humble ourselves so we can parent out of love.

ENJOY YOUR KIDS

God picked each child He places in your life for His glory. So enjoy who they are. Enjoy being with them and what they bring out in you. God places them in our life so we can deal with our own stuff. He knows what we need to be in close relationship with Him. You cannot directly change your kid’s heart, but  God can!

The quality of relationship with your kids is what lasts. Celebrate them!  Celebrate who they are, when they win and when they lose. Play with them, laugh with them, cry with them. Experience emotions together and teach them how to express their emotions in a healthy way.

 They may not show how grateful they are now for all the energy, time, hope, and love it takes to raise them. In the long run they will remember that you believed in them and cheered them on! 

Hang in there! It is not easy! The stirring in your soul can be hard, but Shandon's  Children’s Ministry is here to walk beside you. Our church is here to support you in love as you raise your small people for Him! 

We are praying this for your family:

“May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we’ll be a choir-not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God of our Father of our Master Jesus!”  

Romans 15:5-6,  The Message

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From The Village Church in Texas (Matt Chandler, pastor):

NEED TO TALK?

If you have parenting questions, contact our Children's Minister, Mimi Brookshire:  or (803) 782-1300.

 

Posted by Mimi Brookshire with

Raising Up Boys and Girls, Part 3

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PART 3: AGES 5-10

(Read part 1 or part 2)

This week we're talking about parenting kids from 5-10 years old, which are sometimes considered the "dream years" because they want to be obedient and please you. They are not always obedient and can’t always please you, but as you hang out with these kids remember that is their heart. 

Differences between boys and girls

Kids move through stages of development fluidly.  Not everyone moves through stages at the same age so we can only talk in generalities, but typically boys move through this stage between the ages of 5-8 and girls between 6 and 10 years old.

GIRLS

Girls in this stage are usually adventurous. They have a lack of self-consciousness that provides the path for them to try out new things. They are very sweet and want to please you! Relationships make everything the best for her and can also at this age cause some of her greatest disappointments.

  • Give her space to try out new age-appropriate responsibilities.
  • Invest in building a relationship of trust. Keep your word, and ask for forgiveness when it's broken.

BOYS

Guys are so kind and tender at this stage. Life amazes them so they have the desire to explore everything! They want to please, and everything in their world is a competition. Boys this age are seeking healthy ways to feel their power and purpose.

  • Give him safe opportunities to explore and be adventurous.
  • Use this stage to teach healthy competition: pursuing excellence and winning and losing well.

A whole new world

Kids at this stage are absorbing the world around them, and appropriately, this is the stage when they start school.

School opens up a whole new world to these kids. Up until this time we the parents have mostly created the world our kids live in. Then we send them off to school, where they are exposed to different types of people, different rules, different games, and many things to learn.  School brings new friends, grades, criticism, successes and failures.  

All the things our kids experience can feel like our own. This is hard for us as parents as we struggle to differentiate between their feelings and our own feelings.

  • Create space for conversation about their new experiences. Talk about things they learn or observe that may not match your family's values. 
  • Apologize to your kids when you respond from your feelings not theirs.
  • Have a compassionate heart for your child.
  • Practice presence with your kids. Simply sit with your kids at this stage. They need your presence when they are walking through this complicated part of life, learning about new things in their world.

Kids in this stage are hungry for truth. 

  • They need clear answers to their fears in life.
  • They need those in charge to have unity. Make sure you and your spouse are a united front! They are great at causing divisions if they don’t feel unity in families.  
  • This is a time when you should share your faith story with them.
  • Tell them real answers through God’s eyes as to how things work in life.  Let them see Jesus real in your life through hard times and good times. Model time reading your Bible every day, praying over life, and how to care for others in our world.
  • Consider what your girl or boy sees when they observe a life of faith in the adults close to them. How would they define what it means by watching you-not listening to your words, but listening to your life?

NEED TO TALK?

If you have parenting questions, contact our Children's Minister, Mimi Brookshire:  or (803) 782-1300.

Posted by Mimi Brookshire with

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